Keeps the doctor away – especially if you’ve got good aim and the doctor has a bad apple allergy.

Most people tend to look at their bathroom as a retreat away from the world. The prevention of electrical accidents starts with you. Don’t get zapped! Don’t be a Corn Pone!

Remember the Wuzzles? They were a group of cartoon animal creatures composed of half of one animal and half of another. Bumblelion was half bumblebee and half lion, Butterbear was half bear and half butterfly, Rhinokey was half rhinoceros and half monkey, and so on. Well I just tried to envision the whole Wuzzle gang twenty some odd years later. (If you recall, Hoppo had a crush on Bumblelion, but Bumblelion had his heart set on Butterbear.) I figured Bumblelion would have only gotten tougher and he probably never hooked up with Butterbear, so that’s a touchy subject with him. Since he’s twice the guy, you’d get double the thrashing, I imagine.

Nothing riles the dander of a Star Wars or Star Trek fan more than when you mix your facts up. Sure it seems laughable when you mistake a Klingon for a Rodian, but when you start spouting off that Darth Vader could kick Picard’s butt, then you’ve got problems. This is especially true if you’re wading through a sea of Trekkies/Warsies.

If you ever driven by a Jellystone National Park and seen Yogi’s mug on the sign, you might have figured that if you visited you’d see that sarcastic, rule-breaking, funny bear. (Yes, Jellystone National Park really does exist and most of their campgrounds are east of the Mississippi.) Even though I went camping a lot as a kid, I never once went to their campgrounds. We’d drive by their colorful signs, posted on the side of the road and I assumed that Yogi Bear was there on the premises snacking from a picnic basket and hollering at Boo Boo.

It’s a good thing to bring back your library books before the due date. It’s good to put your books neatly in the book return. It’s a good thing to be quite in the library. It’s good to bring your library card so you can check out more books to take home. Please don’t incite the library ninjas.

Be weary when wondering the maze when Pac-Man is around. I put so much time and quarters into this game when it first came out in the arcade back in the 80s, that you’d think I was made of time and quarters. Of course it wasn’t that much since my allowance was only two bucks and I had to wait to get a lift to the mall from my folks. But with practice I was well on my way of turn pro.

Months later, while at a used bookstore, I found this “Pac-Man secrets revealed” paperback that had a special path that you could take to miss all the ghosts. I was captivated and set off to memorizing the path pattern. When I started reading the book I became bored and stopped my plans on becoming a Pac-Man pro. I wish I still had the book as I’ve heard it was rather rare and worth a ton of quarters.

Blitz Line Starts Here → What is it with the crazy throngs of people out for a bargain? Store sales can never be THAT good. Shopping scenes, a few involving injuries, have become commonplace during the bargain-hunting season before Xmas. I wonder if the marketers of those stores ever do the Mr Burns “Excellent” bit, knowing that it is their amazing marketing skills causing man’s downfall?

Since I’ve been watching a lot of the survivalist shows on TV lately, I thought about doing a series based on their complete opposite. When I see people doing possible life shorting activities, it just makes me wonder. I’ll be tagging this series of comics with “How Not to Survive” when I create a new one.