The famous Clark Bars with their simple, yet memorable packaging and tasty assortment of candy goodness. They’re all so rich, and so good, you may have trouble making up your mind. Clark Coconut Crunch, Clark Peanut Butter Log, Clark Crunchy Peanut Butter, Clark Zagnut, Clark Chocolate Mint and the famous Clark Bar. They’re an old time favorite, but it’s been a long time since I enjoyed one. Over time Zagnut went one way (acquired by Hershey’s) and the Clark Bar went another way (NECCO). I wonder if the other candy bars survived.

To see the much larger scanned copy of this classic ad, click here.

We last left our bendable buddies worrying about how to retrieve their hot air balloon, which was stuck atop a giant Gum Dinger Pop. While enjoying one of the many candy flavors, Gumby blows a Gum Dinger bubble and learns the art of bubble maneuvering. Then both heroes POP back into their hot air balloon and head for home. Upon their return, they brag to Prickle and Goo about all fanciful flavors of Gum Dinger Pops they saw. I hope you enjoyed this humdinger of an adventure.

To see the much larger scanned copy of this classic ad, click here.

When we last left the clay duo they had just arrived in Gum Dinger land and were up against a myriad of amazing flavors. An over exuberant Pokey horses around and crashes their hot air balloon atop a giant Gum Dinger Pop! The overwhelming amount of tasty flavors clouds Gumby’s thoughts for a moment, until Pokey sets him straight. Then Gumby takes advantage of the vast amount of gum found in each pop and blows a Gum Dinger bubble.

What will happen next in the exciting adventure? Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion of this gum-tacular tale!

To see the much larger scanned copy of this classic ad, click here.

I’m continuing the Gumby goodness with a classic Brachs ad from 1986. It shows Gumby and Pokey arriving by hot air balloon in the sweet and tasty Gum Dinger land. With all those mouth watering flavors, how will our clay chums survive another minute? Perhaps it’s got something to do with that delicious bubble gum center? For more taste bud tickling adventures, stayed tuned for Part 2.

To see the much larger scanned copy of this classic ad, click here.

From the fine makers who brought you the Sherman Tank Toy comes your answer to ocean exploration on a budget - it’s the Polaris Nuclear Sub! It’s over 7 feet long, it fires rockets and torpedoes, and it’s big enough to send two kids to the bottom of the ocean. To see the much larger scanned copy of this classic ad, click here.

How proud will you be as commander of your own Polaris Sub - the most powerful weapon in the world! What hours of imaginative play and fun as you and your friends dive, surface, maneuver, watch the enemy through the periscope and fire your nuclear missiles and torpedoes! What thrills as you play at hunting sunken treasures in pirate waters and exploring the strange and mysterious bottom of the deep ocean floor!

From the picture, it looks like you should get your mom out of the kitchen to play with you. As with the Sherman Tank, the Nuclear Sub is made from sturdy fiberboard and is only $6.98. Vivid imagination not included.

Update: Here’s a photo of the sub in action and a happy kid.

This classic ad mentions that these Plastic Pillows are the “most original Marvel merchandising masterpieces ever”. They sure are original, but why plastic pillows? What can you do with one? Sure their suggestions of “bang ‘em and toss ‘em” both sound like great ideas, but can’t you do that with most stuff? Stan Lee probably had a hand in writing this because of the use of his word forbush, which was a word he made up to refer to something puny or weak. Well, at least it is only $1.50 and it has full-color Thor and Spiderman on it. Plastic Pillow fight anyone?

A disaster mustn’t jeopardize our Hostess Fruit Pies! Let our tummies give thanks to the Fantastic Four for saving the fruity goodness. Wow, will wonders ever cease? I hope their upcoming movie is just as exciting. It’s great to see that they’ve got their own FF canoes, complete with logos. Perhaps young Franklin decorated them himself. In any case, it doesn’t look he’ll save any of his Fruit Pies for anyone else.

To see a much larger version of this classic ad, click here.

Now you can become a Karate champ more quickly than you ever though possible. Learn the vulnerable regions of your enemy like number 13, the crease in his pants. Everyone knows that bad guys hate wrinkled pants. Mess up his crease and he’s done for. Get your dummy today!

Note: Just pray your enemy isn’t armed with a piece of fresh fruit.

When choosing gifts for kids - just remember that boys like toy guns and sports while girls like sewing, laundry and dolls. “Little girls love to sew!” The baby Betsy Ironing Boards were such a huge hit with the girls, as too were the toy gas range and stove sets. “A new stove, just like Mother’s.” I like the way it says “selected” toys for girls. It sounds as if the girls’ choices had already been made for them.

To see the much larger and full scanned copy of this classic ad, click here.

What is the first thing you think of when you think of “grown-up” pants? Usually you’ll only hear that now when ads refer to kids special diapers or “training pants”. Then that gets me thinking of adult diapers and that’s the last thing most people want to think about. But an ad for “tough, tight jeans for young men”, just sounds like an invite to join the Village People. The only thing I think that Lee jeans had going for itself was Buddy Lee. I want to be like Buddy Lee…

To see the much larger and full scanned copy of this classic ad, click here.

This early ad from the 1860’s was for a pretty well known brand of medications. Thomas Holloway was quite the entrepreneur of his time. He produced ointments and digestive pills that were world famous as a result of his amazing advertising. It was thanks to his good marketing and publicity that he became a multi-millionaire. But not all of those that marketed medicines at this time were as truthful as Holloway.

“It cures what ails you” was a popular phrase but was far from fact. It’s the lack of information on the advertisements along with the wild claims and false promises of medicinal properties, at this time in history, which makes it all very amusing nowadays. It all reminds me of the ‘Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber‘ SNL comedy sketches with Steve Martin.

Here’s another classic ad for Halloween - Mr Bones! This 5 foot tall, glow-in-the-dark skeleton will make your spine tingle with its glowing eyes. Shake him and you’d swear he’s “alive”. Great fun at (dull) parties and it’s only $1.75, plus shipping. Your money back if you’re not sufficiently scared. I wonder if kids could be scared by this thing nowadays? Boo!

Since Halloween is coming up shortly, here’s a classic ad involving our friend Dracula sinking his teeth into a Slim Jim. “A little less than a meal. A little more than a snack.” But for Halloween? I’d prefer candy and chocolates when I was out trick-or-treating, but I guess mechanically separated chicken is fine. Dracula seems pretty happy with it in the picture. I like the artist’s attention to detail - like those skull shaped cufflinks.

Here’s another dandy ad from an old comic book of mine. It’s a black-and-white ad for a bunch of gadgets and gizmos available by mail-order from the “American Circle Corp”. There’s the silent dog whistle, exploding fountain pen, 25 lessons in hypnotism, spy scope, secret agent spy camera, sneezing powder, karate course with certificate and the ever popular x-ray specs. Each of the items only cost you a few bucks and are more fun than a barrel full of monkeys.

I wonder if any of these things worked - did anyone every buy these things? Like last time - to see the much larger scanned copy of this classic ad, click here.

Over the years I’ve collected many old ads from newspapers and comics, so I thought I’d share them with you. Most are pretty silly and would now be classified as false advertising. We start off by showing you this old ad for a kid’s toy. Selling toys like this, during times of fear and war is a great marketing ploy. To see the much larger scanned copy of this classic ad, click here.

Imagine your thrill when you get inside this authentic replica of the mighty “General Sherman” Tank and charge forward to adventure. You can bet you are using your tremendous firepower to devastate every imaginary enemy in your path. It’s bound to bring more thrills and adventure than you have ever known from a toy.

There’s nothing quite like charging forward into adventure -even if it’s in fiberboard. Don’t you enjoy the truth in advertising?